Existence

Sweet 18 November 19, 2009

Last Saturday, I accompany my mother in attending an 18^th birthday celebration. When I see young people celebrating life, it made me wonder where have all the years go? It’s been 10 years since I celebrated my 18^th birthday. Wahhh! Ten years! (I’m really old. *frown) Anyway, I didn’t have a glamorous party back then. We just had a simple celebration with my family and friends. But I didn’t mind not having an extravagant party (like what I witnessed on the birthday we attended) What I regret, was the fact that back when I was 18, I DON’T even know who Joyce was.

Sad to say, when I was younger I don’t have my own identity. I just go with the flow. I was afraid to speak my mind. I made bad decisions just coz I’m afraid to be different and I felt that my choices were limited. I was also so shy. I thought I can never be more than what I wanted to be. That big opportunities are for some people only. I was lost with trivial things and I didn’t even know it! I spent my teenage years, thinking about shallow things. But the worst for me: I forgot to dream…..for myself…

Anyway, as I always say, life is good. Everything happens for a reason. I might not be the girl I wanted myself to be back then, but now I know what I want and what gives joy to me. I know now what matters most. I have dreams and I have faith it would all come true in God’s perfect time. Even if it happens 10 years or 20 years later or how many years! Lol.

However, don’t you just wish you’re still 18?